Every morning I wake up and turn on the radio to listen to the news. A lot of spouses might object to the sound, but my wife tells me she doesn’t even hear it. It’s a silly habit because it’s usually the same news that I watched on television at ten o’clock just before I went to bed, but I’ve always been a news junkie. I also watch television news during breakfast, lunch and dinner. What makes my habit even stranger is that I profess to be a follower of Thoreau, who argued that all news is gossip. Still, he continued, there’s hardly a man alive who doesn’t wake up from a half hour’s nap and demand to know, “What’s the news?”

Even more puzzling than my fondness for the news is my paying close attention to the “Market Report,” which comes on at seven o’clock. I know nothing about the stock market, but I’m always concerned about which direction it’s headed each day. Of course, I have a retirement fund, and Terry, who has an office at the bank, gives me a report every six months on how it’s doing. Meanwhile, my wife Michelle handles all the household finances, pays the bills and collects receipts for tax purposes. As far as I can tell, we seem to have enough money, which is a great comfort. On the other hand, we never go anywhere or do anything – which is okay with me. A friend called not long ago to invite me…

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